Stop Apologizing, Start Embracing Who You Are

Amber Knicole from Mojoflo singing "This is Me" from The Greatest Showman

Do you ever feel like you’re playing a role that doesn’t quite fit? Maybe you’re trying to live up to expectations that don’t feel like you. The truth is, this struggle to conform—to be who we think we should be—holds so many of us back.

But what if you could lead with confidence, knowing you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, just as you are? Building a successful career starts with knowing and embracing who you are. When you align with your authentic self, confidence flows naturally—and so does your ability to thrive.

Why Knowing Yourself Matters
​Self-awareness is more than just a buzzword; it’s the foundation of lasting confidence and meaningful success. It helps you:

• Recognize Your Strengths: You know where you shine, and you lean into it.
• Own Your Weaknesses: Instead of avoiding them, you can learn, delegate, or grow.
• Make Aligned Decisions: Choices become easier when they reflect your values.

When you embrace who you are, you stop wasting energy pretending to be someone else. Instead, you can focus that energy on showing up fully and authentically.

What Holds Us Back?
Let’s be honest: knowing and embracing ourselves isn’t always easy. There are obstacles—like fear of judgment, societal expectations, and our inner critic—that make it feel safer to hide, apologize for who you are, or conform.

Holly Hollingsworth, Senior Director of Digital Marketing at Cogwheel Marketing recently shared a story with me that illustrates this experience to which I think many of us can relate. She was meeting with a client and became passionate about the topic they were discussing. At the end of the conversation she said, “I’m sorry, I know I can be loud and a bit much”. 

While the client brushed it off as no big deal, Holly’s leader did not. Digital Matriarch, Founder and CEO of Cogwheel Marketing, Stephanie Smith, called Holly to the carpet (in a good way), three days later. She firmly told Holly to never, ever, do that again. She encouraged her to own who she is and to not apologize for it. Wow- don’t we all need mentors like that!?

Holly shared how that moment had a huge impact on her and how it made her realize that what she felt was a weakness and something she had to diminish, was something that could actually be a strength. 

Holly’s story demonstrates that the first step is recognizing the barriers that hold you back and challenging the narratives that keep you from showing up as your true self.

How to Begin the Journey of Self-Discovery
Knowing yourself takes intention and courage. Here are a few ways to get started:

1. Reflect on Your Strengths and Weaknesses: Take time to identify what you do well and where you can improve.
2. Identify Your Values: Ask yourself, “What truly matters to me in life and work?”
3. Seek Feedback: Reach out to trusted friends, colleagues, or mentors for honest input.
4. Pay Attention to Patterns: Notice what energizes or drains you over time.
5. Embrace Self-Discovery Practices: Explore tools like journaling, meditation, or personality frameworks (e.g., StrengthsFinder, Enneagram).

In one of my podcast episodes on The Travel Leader, guest Mimi Oliver CEO at WaterWalk, shared one of her strengths and how it has positively contributed to how she leads and builds her business culture and service experience. Let’s take a look...

Embracing Your Authentic Self
Once you start to uncover who you are, the next step is embracing it. This means owning your quirks, your story, and your unique perspective. It’s about seeing your imperfections not as flaws, but as part of what makes you you.

One of the qualities I’ve discovered about myself through self-reflection and getting feedback from others is that I am a very direct communicator. I often fear however that this is viewed by others as a negative character trait. Over time, however, I’ve learned that this can also be a strength. Direct communication saves time, reduces misunderstandings, sets expectations and creates clarity. While it is a continuous learning process I’ve learned to balance my directness with empathy, loyalty and the ability to own my mistakes.

When you show up authentically, you invite others to do the same. You build trust, deepen relationships, and create more meaningful connections.

Why Confidence Grows from Authenticity
Confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being real. When you lead from a place of authenticity, confidence follows naturally because you’re no longer trying to fit a mold.

Here’s how authenticity strengthens your career:

You Communicate Clearly: You know your values, and you can articulate them with ease.
You Lead with Integrity: People trust leaders who are true to themselves.
You Navigate Challenges Better: Confidence in who you are gives you resilience in tough situations.

Your Next Step
So, how can you start embracing who you are? Begin with these questions:

    •    What makes you unique?
    •    What are your core values?
    •    Where can you show up more authentically in your career?

Here are a couple of resources to help you get started!

Values Exercise from The Travel Leader Coach

Free Personality Strengths and Character Tests

Closing Thoughts
Knowing and embracing yourself isn’t a one-time task—it’s a lifelong journey. But as you deepen your self-awareness and lean into your true self, you’ll find that confidence comes naturally, and success follows in ways you never imagined.

Your authenticity is your superpower. When you show up as you, you inspire others to do the same—and that’s where the real magic happens.