Fear, Self Doubt and the Beliefs Holding you Back from your Greatest Achievements

Early in my hospitality career a seed of an idea began to grow in my mind. What if I created a gathering of like-minded women who were seeking the same kind of community, connection and leadership development that I desired for myself? For a long time, this idea swirled in my head and then the doubt began to set in. Is it really a good idea? Would other people want to attend? Would it be good enough? Am I good enough to do this?

Self-doubt is a silent but powerful force that can prevent us from pursuing new opportunities and achieving our full potential. Whether it’s applying for a new job, starting a business, stepping into a leadership role, or in my case creating an event,  self-doubt can creep in, making us question our abilities and worthiness. While it’s natural to experience some uncertainty when facing new challenges, allowing self-doubt to dominate can keep us stuck in our comfort zones, missing out on the growth and fulfillment that comes with taking risks.

There is evidence to support that feelings of self-doubt, may be more pervasive for women than men. According to a 2014 article from The Atlantic, “The Confidence Gap”, women can be less likely to speak up, ask for promotions, or advocate for themselves in the workplace than their male counterparts. A study by Carnegie Mellon Professor Linda Babcock found that in a sample set of women negotiating salaries for their jobs, only 7% of women negotiated compared to 57% of men. Even when offered a promotion, women can be surprised and turn them down because they doubt their abilities to carry out the role (Sponsoring Women Leaders: What you Might be Missing)

Self-doubt, while maybe more prevalent in women, is not exclusive to women. One of the questions I often ask my guests on The Travel Leader Podcast is “when have you under-estimated yourself”. Whether female or male, the most resounding answer is “ALL the time”. 

Specific Fears Related to Self-Doubt
Self-doubt often manifests through a series of fears that undermine our confidence and prevent us from taking action. Here are some of the most common fears associated with self-doubt:
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Fear of Failure:

• What It Is: The fear that you will not succeed if you try something new, leading to embarrassment, disappointment, or loss.
• Impact: This fear can cause you to avoid taking risks altogether, preferring to stay in situations where success feels more certain. It can prevent you from even attempting to seize opportunities because the potential for failure feels too daunting.​

You have to step through the door, or you'll never know what's possible. - Tracy Prigmore, Founder She Has a Deal, Managing Partner TLT Solutions

Fear of Being a Fraud (Imposter Syndrome)

• What It Is: The fear that despite your achievements and external validation, you don't actually deserve your success. You worry that others will eventually "find out" that you're not as competent as they believe you to be.
  
• Impact: This fear can cause you to downplay your accomplishments, avoid new opportunities, or overwork yourself in an attempt to prove your worth. It can create constant anxiety and prevent you from fully embracing your successes or taking on challenges that could lead to further growth.
  

 Fear of Judgement:

• What It Is: The concern that others will criticize or look down on you if you fail or don’t perform perfectly.
  
• Impact: Worrying about what others think can paralyze you, leading to avoidance of new opportunities where your performance is on display, such as public speaking, leadership roles, or creative endeavors.
  

Fear of the Unknown:

• What It Is: The anxiety that comes from stepping into unfamiliar territory where outcomes are uncertain.
  
• Impact: The discomfort of uncertainty can keep you clinging to the familiar, even when it no longer serves your growth. You may choose to stay in a job or situation that’s not fulfilling because it feels safer than venturing into the unknown.
  

Fear of Success:

• What It Is: The paradoxical fear that succeeding will bring new challenges, expectations, or responsibilities that you may not be able to handle.
  
• Impact: This fear can lead to self-sabotage, where you might unconsciously undermine your own efforts to avoid the pressures that come with success.
  

Strategies to Overcome Self-Doubt
While I continue to experience self-doubt on a regular basis, I can thankfully look back with pride that I was able to turn that seed into flower and launch Accelerate Women Leaders in Travel in 2019. We’ve since held our retreat for five years and continue to grow our reach and impact. I can’t imagine now, not taking that step, but it took some very specific actions to make it happen. First, I voiced the idea out loud. I began with two people in the industry I trusted and asked them what they thought about it. Feeling more confident that the idea was valid, I started with one conversation with a person I knew who had run significant events in the past. She then referred me to someone else…and the rest is history. 

​Overcoming self-doubt requires a combination of self-awareness, practical strategies, and a commitment to personal growth. Here are some effective strategies to help you move past self-doubt and take on new opportunities with confidence:

Acknowledge Your Doubts:

• What to Do: The first step in overcoming self-doubt is recognizing and acknowledging it. Pay attention to the negative thoughts and fears that arise when you consider new opportunities.
• How It Helps: By bringing your doubts into the open, you can begin to address them directly, rather than letting them influence your decisions from the shadows.​

It is is challenging, and it is a mental repetition of saying I can do it, I am enough, I am still in the process...- Viviana Wilkins, Director of Asset Management and Investor Relations TLT Solutions

Reframe Negative Thoughts:

• What to Do: Challenge the negative thoughts that fuel your self-doubt. Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” reframe it to, “I have the skills to learn and grow in this role.”
• How It Helps: Reframing helps shift your mindset from one of limitation to one of possibility, making it easier to take action despite your fears.

Set Small, Achievable Goals:

• What to Do: Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. Focus on completing one task at a time, rather than being overwhelmed by the entire project.
• How It Helps: Achieving small goals builds momentum and confidence, proving to yourself that you are capable of succeeding.

Once the negative self talk begins, do not let it linger. Get it out of your head immediately. Do that so you can move forward. Because if you do nothing, nothing will happen. - Portia Hood, Director of Sales and Marketing, Hilton

Seek Support and Feedback:

• What to Do: Surround yourself with supportive people who can offer encouragement and constructive feedback. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
• How It Helps: Positive reinforcement from others can bolster your confidence and help you see your strengths more clearly.

Reflect on Past Successes:

• What to Do: Take time to reflect on your past achievements, no matter how small. Remind yourself of the challenges you’ve already overcome.
• How It Helps: Reflecting on past successes can help counteract feelings of inadequacy and remind you that you have the ability to succeed in new ventures.

Embrace a Growth Mindset:

• What to Do: Adopt a mindset that views challenges as opportunities for growth, rather than threats to your competence. Understand that mistakes and setbacks are part of the learning process.
• How It Helps: A growth mindset encourages resilience and persistence, allowing you to keep moving forward even when faced with obstacles.

Self-doubt is a natural part of the human experience, but it doesn’t have to hold you back from pursuing new opportunities. By understanding the specific fears that fuel your self-doubt and applying strategies to overcome them, you can build the confidence to step out of your comfort zone and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead. Remember, growth often happens outside of what’s familiar, and the only way to truly know what you’re capable of is to take that leap.

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