​At my recent high school reunion, I asked an old classmate how his summer was going. He looked at me straight on and said “quite honestly, its hard. Summers are hard with the kids in an out of camps, at home and trying to work at the same time.” I empathized with him as a fellow parent, business owner and community leader, and also took a bit of comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone. It was also healthy to see a man expressing some of the same sentiments I hear mostly from women.

Work-life balance is a common topic of conversation and one I hear frequently regardless of the circle of colleagues and friends I’m in. The challenge increases with age and upward career moves as the demands of children, care-giving, home and work responsibilities seem to pile up exponentially. Its not only the volume of demands but the quality of those experiences that can make anyone feel less than satisfied.

Like many people, I’m not a fan of the term “work-life balance". It suggests inherently that balance is possible and as we all know, it really isn’t. And contrary to common belief, those experiences aren’t compartmentalized. Feeling stress at work influences home-life and vice versa. Further, there is a more nuanced cause of those unsettled feelings.

The Gallup organization (of the Gallup Poll), has found in its research that the work-life balance conversation can be better framed around the idea of overall well-being. They break down well-being into five categories.

Career - you like what you do every day
Social - you have strong relationships
Financial - you manage your money well
Physical - you have enough energy to do the things you want
Community - you like where you live

What most attracts me to this framework is that it takes away the focus on time as the most significant factor in how we measure our lives.  Instead, the measure of overall well-being is the quality of each area.

So what’s the connection between leadership and well-being? The old way of thinking is that how someone feels about their well-being is a personal matter. That belief doesn’t hold up according to the Gallup poll research. They have found that how someone feels about their career is the most significant factor in how they measure their well-being. Second, how someone feels about their career is largely impacted by their work environment and especially the quality of their manager. Third, a poor working environment leads to dis-engagement and ultimately costs the global economy upwards of $8.8 trillion according to the latest State of the Global Workforce: 2023 Report.

The evidence is clear: addressing well-being is critical for company success. And the first place leaders can start is with themselves.

At the 2023 Women Leading Travel and Hospitality Summit in Nashville, Tennessee I gave a workshop on how to start addressing well-being called Banishing Balance: A New Paradigm for Personal and Professional Success. Sign up for my complimentary course which includes the workshop background presentation and practical information and exercises to get you started on a path to improved well-being. 

Last week I read the Joblist Survey report with sincere interest.  One of the biggest findings was that of the millions of people who quit their jobs as part of the on-going great resignation, at least one in four of those regrets doing so. The hospitality industry had a rate of 31% who regretted leaving their position! Read more about this report and how it relates to the hospitality industry and what actions we can take in my recent newsletter.

These results made me curious: how do  you know when its time to leave your job?  Scott Samuels, CEO of Horizon Hospitality, answers that very question in his article “When is it Time to Find Another Job?”.

In his article, Samuels identifies and expands upon four reasons for deciding to leave a job:

1. Compensation is stagnant
2. The work environment is perpetually toxic
3. Your growth has stalled
4. There is no end to burnout

I couldn’t agree more with Samuels that the above are all good reasons for leaving a job. As a leadership coach and an owner of hospitality business, I was triggered to explore each of these reasons. Underlying all the reasons that people might leave their job and the reasons for regret that might follow, is the reality, that when you leave a job, you also take with you any unresolved issues or patterns of behavior with you. As a result, you can end up being equally unhappy in the new position.  If you are unsatisfied with your job for any of the above reasons, consider the beliefs and behaviors below before making any big moves.

Evaluate your sense of self-worth (Compensation)
There’s no doubt that an employer should regularly be reviewing salaries and wages, reward good performance and offer financial growth opportunities. On the other hand, professionals also should take self- responsibility, be their own advocate and ask for what they want and need. Have you resisted asking for a better compensation package because you have low self-confidence or sense of self-worth?

Reflect on your behaviors (Toxic work environment)
Addressing a toxic work environment is one of the most difficult work culture issues for employers to address. Often it takes years to identify the circumstances or employees who are contributing to it and it may not be fully realized until the person has left. While employers have a significant responsibility to find and weed out the causes of the toxic environment, have you considered that your behavior might contribute? Toxic behavior is caused by a myriad of circumstances such as not being able to self-reflect, having un-met needs, being a perfectionist or always playing the victim, damaging relationships or giving in to destructive behavior.

Cultivate a Growth Mindset (Your growth has stalled)
Its easy to point fingers and determine that you have not been given opportunities to grow in your company. However, what else might be stopping you from that growth? Having a fixed mindset vs. a growth mindset is one of the biggest reasons people cannot get to the next step in their career. They are either unwilling or unable to see that they are capable of learning new things and that experiencing failures along the way does not mean you are a failure.

Set Clear Boundaries (There's no end to burnout)
Burnout and the contribution of poor working environments to it, is a real thing. If companies are not addressing systemic issues that contribute to burnout, then it might be time to say goodbye. On the other hand, have you been clear about your boundaries? Do you always say yes to overtime? Have you communicated to your boss what you are willing and not willing to take on? If not, what is the underlying reason you have not been able to set boundaries? 

The truest sign of a leader is the deliberate effort to clear your own path to achieve your peak potential. If you are exploring your next career move, whether or not it means leaving a job or staying, be sure that you are also turning your inquiry and reflection inward. You'll be happier in an existing job and if you do decided to leave, you'll be more successful and satisfied with your new position.