I always thought I was pretty good at asking for and receiving feedback. However, a recent experience made me pause for reflection, and when I took a step back to observe my behavior, I actually laughed at myself when I realized the significant lesson I could learn. I gave a document to a colleague to provide feedback. When she gave me her input, she noted a minor wording change that had been made that had potentially big implications in perception and buy-in for our project. It wasn’t that I didn’t agree with her opinion on the change that was needed. I had noticed the change that was made by someone else involved in the project but in the haste of things I moved on and didn’t take action. I was also very proud of the work I had done and had spent specific time ensuring that the tone and messaging was appropriate. So when feedback was made on that theme, I wasn’t thrilled about it. Asking for and receiving feedback is important for two critical reasons. First, feedback allows us to learn and grow. We cannot improve our performance if we don’t know where improvements are needed. Second, asking for and receiving feedback well, demonstrates and models to others that feedback is a normal and necessary part of personal and professional development and helps to create a culture of continuous improvement. Knowing the importance of receiving feedback, here are some lessons and guidelines for becoming a master in this skill set.
Feedback in all of its forms is actually a true gift. It takes a lot of courage for the person sitting across from you to give that feedback directly and there are more times than not in your career where colleagues and leaders will actually avoid it, especially as you grow as you become a more senior leader. Having a growth mindset around feedback- the understanding that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work and perseverance - will help you separate the feedback from a tendency to take things personally and will only help you to grow and develop beyond your expectations.
Be 100% accountable When I received the feedback on my project, I initially could only see that the feedback was not mine to receive. In other words, I became defensive and was quick to assign responsibility to someone else. I was so convinced in my viewpoint, that I made additional efforts to reason and explain why the mistake had happened. And then, in a light bulb moment, I saw what I was missing. There is a difference between taking responsibility for the feedback and being accountable for the feedback. Taking responsibility is about owning mistakes or need for improvement for your assigned and executed tasks. Being accountable is about owning the outcomes and results of your role. I knew my truth and didn’t need to internalize responsibility for the changed document. However, the much better response would have been to thank the feedback giver for their input and work to make it right without excuses. I was the “leader” of this project, and it was my job to be 100% accountable. Trust your judgment Feedback is a prominent theme in my coaching work. I gave a recent leadership training for a management team at a hotel in which creating a cultural of feedback was a central part. I also hear it in my one on one coaching sessions with clients. In one example, a client who is very genuine and skilled in this area, received feedback from a colleague that didn’t fully resonate with her. There are times when feedback may not be 100% true. Feedback givers come with their own personal perspectives and viewpoints which can cloud the ability to give accurate feedback. In the worst cases, the feedback giver could be projecting their own deficiencies and insecurities on to you. Remember to trust your own judgment and get multiple perspectives, while also realizing that there is always some truth to feedback. My client also said very wisely in this case that perception matters regardless of the level of absolute truth. Take action Finally, what’s the point of getting feedback if you don’t take action on it? The true test of your ability to receive feedback is whether or not you have learned from it and taken action to improve upon it. The journey through receiving and acting on feedback is an intricate dance of humility, growth, and resilience. My recent reflection illuminated not just a blind spot in my own approach to feedback but also a universal truth about human nature and the continuous quest for improvement. The realization that feedback is a gift, one that requires an open heart and mind to fully appreciate and learn from, has been transformative. Let us carry the lessons learned with grace, understanding that each piece of feedback, whether easy or difficult to digest, is a stepping stone towards our better selves. In embracing feedback with a genuine desire for growth and a commitment to accountability, we not only enhance our personal and professional development but also contribute to a culture that values and promotes continuous learning. Let's cherish the feedback we receive, trust our judgment, and take decisive action to mold a future marked by excellence and enduring success.
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Earlier this year, I found myself not as the boss, but working for someone else on a freelance/consulting basis—a situation I hadn’t been in for over 12 years. I was working with other consultants on a project, setting up a new initiative and creating new processes and deliverables. As I collaborated with other partners, I started to notice something about myself. Once we were given our responsibilities and goals, I was ready to execute. I rarely waited for products of the project to be reviewed before they were launched. I also became frustrated if the process became bogged down in decision making. I am sharing this experience not to promote a particular behavior in consultancy; in fact, this trait could potentially make me a less than ideal consultant! However, the capacity to take initiative and proceed without needing approval, even if it might unsettle some, I believe is a unique leadership quality of business owners and entrepreneurs. One that I believe could be vital for professionals aspiring to climb the career ladder and take on more significant leadership roles and responsibilities. Being on the other side of the desk, so to speak, offered me the unique opportunity to see a new perspective on leadership. It led me to ponder upon other possible traits that differentiate entrepreneurial leaders. What unique qualities and behaviors set them apart, and how can these traits aid individuals in achieving unparalleled leadership success within their organizations? I quickly realized I was not treading on uncharted territory. My research led me to some invaluable resources that delve into the realm of entrepreneurial leadership such as the work of Joel Peterson: Entrepreneurial Leadership: The Art of Launching New Ventures, Inspiring Others and Running Stuff. Drawing from my own journey as an entrepreneur, I've identified specific behaviors and actions that epitomize entrepreneurial leadership. Entrepreneurial leaders:
I look forward to exploring these leadership behaviors more in my writing, interviews on The Travel Leader and with my clients. In the meantime, check out these resources: Video with Joel Peterson Are you an Entrepreneurial Leader? Article 7 Characteristics of the Best Entrepreneurial Leaders “What got you here, won’t get you there”…
I’ve learned that lesson many times over the years, especially as a business owner. Typically here’s how it goes. I set a goal or an expectation to achieve more and I hit a brick wall. Effort and my existing set of resources, knowledge and experiences are no longer helpful in getting me to where I need to be. This is the moment that I start thinking about where I’m going to get those things so I can move forward. In 2019, my husband and I came to such a moment. We knew we had come to a cross-roads with our restaurant and attractions business. We felt that we lacked foundational knowledge and some skill sets to run that part of our business more professionally and to produce better results. To address this, we brought in a restaurant consulting firm. They conducted an assessment, shared their expertise and systems and provided insight on where we could go move forward. It was a big investment but it paid off not just in our confidence levels but also bottom line results. Learning has been a value of mine since as far back as I can remember. Even though it didn’t always come naturally, I found it rewarding to come to a point where I knew something that I didn’t know before. In these early years traditional education was my main source of new knowledge and trigger to change my performance. Over the years, I’ve been lucky enough to be exposed to a wide variety of opportunities to learn in different formats. From this process I also discovered that not all forms of knowledge and resources have the same kind of impact and different formats are better for some things than others. It wasn’t until more recently, however, that I uncovered the reason why some formats are better at different times than others. In their book “Leading Beyond change: a Practical Guide to Evolving Business Agility”, the authors provide the context to answer this question. What they describe is that different learning approaches can fall into three categories 1) Knowing, 2) Practices, Techniques and Skills, and 3) Being. As you employ different approaches the impact they have on your evolution increases. Its not always easy to know what approach to apply for which situation and when. In the story above we were missing key pieces of knowledge. Neither my husband nor I had any formal training in restaurant management or the culinary arts. We also didn’t have the time to do a lot of self-study. This is why we brought in the consulting firm. They had the knowledge we needed, they had nailed repeatable processes from their many years of experience, and we could get that knowledge relatively quickly from them. The approach with this consultant also included some skill building. They didn’t just hand us a report and call it a day. There was an on-going exchange and interaction in which we discussed our weaknesses and they helped us formulate methods to improve upon them. After about five or six years of running our hotel and attractions business, I found that knowledge and skill building, including a two year hospitality certificate with Cornell, was starting to reach its limit in terms of what it could do to improve my performance. Patterns became apparent related to my behavior, the consequences of my behavior with others, interpersonal relations, confidence, ability to make decisions, job satisfaction and my general professional and personal well-being. These patterns of behaviors were beginning to become serious obstacles to high performance. All of that just described, are examples of the “being” referred to above. For this, I needed a different approach. To “be” a different person, I doubled down on my reading about personal and organizational development. The turning point came when I engaged with a coach. The journey has continued with efforts including creating a leadership retreat for women in travel, developing a meditation practice and finally, becoming a coach myself. The impact of my focus on the “being” vs. the doing, has been profound. I’ve developed a different mindset which enables me to address almost any challenge with a new sense of confidence and stability, even if I don’t have the immediate knowledge or skills needed to address it. In a nutshell, it was for me like having all the best components and parts for a car (knowledge and skills) but the car still kept stalling out. Once I cleaned up the engine and made it run better (being) I could really put the pedal to the metal and accelerate. I’ve put together some examples of learning and development approaches that fall under the three categories as described above 1) Knowing, 2) Practices, techniques and skills, 3) Being. This resource list is far from exhaustive and its not always black and white what sources of learning might fall in which category. Some sources may fall into more than one category and impact people differently. Get access to the resource list here and feel free to reach out anytime with questions around this topic or to learn more about coaching with PEAK. |
AuthorRachel Vandenberg is a leadership coach living in Stowe, Vermont with her husband and three children. Rachel also owns and operates a hotel and attractions property with her family. She sits on the board of the local tourism association and also created a leadership retreat for women leaders in travel. Archives
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